Rating: Super duper VVVV for food, VV for value for money. Overall Super V.
Address: 430 Little Collins Street, Melbourne
Telephone: (03) 9691 3888
Opening hours: Lunch - Tuesday to Friday. Bookings from midday to 2pm. Dinner - Tuesday to Saturday. Bookings from 6.30pm to 9.30pm. Reservations are essential
Cost: $38 up, up, upwards.

‘The philosophy at Vue de monde is to provide an individualised dining experience which is never to be repeated.’ This is a philosophy which I would like to adopt for life after my once-in-a-lifetime dream repaste there for a recent four-hour “work” lunch.

I have to admit I was a little intimidated upon arrival and did not expect much vegetarian friendly fare in a French restaurant. The waiters were all clearly aristrocratically born Europeans slumming it for a year in Australia, and the maitre’ d’s witticisms, silk tie and his suit’s suggestion of pin stripes were a combination which made me feel underdressed both physically and intellectually. But I swiftly put all that aside when the food started coming.

Our polite and knowledgable waitress suggested we select the five course degustation menu, which would be individually designed for each of us based on our dietary preferences, and for which a vitner would select appropriate wines for each course. I am a quasi vegetarian in that, in posh restaurants, I will eat fish but no other seafood, whilst the other lady at the table was the opposite.

I also say a categorical no to red wine during the day, setting my vitner (I love that- when in my life will I get to say “my vitner” again?) a handsome challenge. The waitress and the chefs took all this in their stride, and I was left assured I would be pleasantly surprised.

It was - DIVINE. Each course came out beautifully presented, intelligently explained and with an accompanying wine from grape bearing valleys the world over (although mostly from France, as it is a French restaurant).

I began with an apple and waldorf salad with the variation of a quail’s egg planted atop, which would not normally do much for me except here, in this environment, it just seemed so RIGHT. This was followed by the best course of the day (the meat eaters agreed) - a truffle and mushroom risotto, which simply melt in my mouth with caramelised mushroom flavours. A couple of fish dishes followed, each with a special little twist to make them both too beautiful to eat and too uniquely tasty not to.

Fortunately the courses were French restaurtant sized, which meant Yes please, I certainly do have room for two dessert degustation courses. Oh - my - goddd. The first was a poached plum served with vanilla bean (as opposed to vanilla, donchaknow) ice cream. The second was a delicious chocolate mousse slice thingie with other assorted delights. To top it all off, the angels in stripy aprons brought us a Vue de monde signature “It’s time to get the bill and sod off so we can get ready for dinner” dessert tree - with tiny souffles, brandy snap crackers, meringues, and slices of chocolate for each of us.

The meal was the best I have ever had. My advice - go there if someone else is paying, if you have someone you really, really want to impress, or if food enjoyment is one of your main pleasures in life. The degustation option is heinously expensive and you would do well to avoid all talk of the state of the majority world whilst you are there, otherwise you will start to feel like the indulgent Westerner that you are behaving like and that will potentially spoil at least one of the courses.

Ways to keep the expense below “guilt-inducingly outrageous” are to order off the menu and I think they even do a lunch special - something like $38 for two courses and a glass of wine. Remember to book at least three months in advance - that’s the kind of waiting list we are talking about.

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